


look at me

by orphan_account



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Emotionally Constipated Seungyoun, Emotionally Constipated Wooseok, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Smut, they weren't tags but they are now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-29 17:41:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20800400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: seungyoun and wooseok were an old spark. as fate would have it, they meet again on a survival show but what happened before that?a story of heartbreak, 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀 and of what 𝘸𝘢𝘴.





	look at me

**Author's Note:**

> This au was inspired seungseok's iconic part in the u got it choreography where seungyoun tilts wooseok's chin slightly into his direction singing 'look at me.'
> 
> The story switches between the present(produce x 101) in Seunyoun's POV and the past which is in Wooseok's POV(in italics). Don't worry it'll be marked with " * " when it switches so it shouldn't be too confusing. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy~

Produce X 101, 2019 

Seungyoun almost forgets to breathe when he sees the familiar, yet different, brown-haired man appear on the screen projector. His big doe-eyes are still the same, curiously looking around at the other trainees with his small pink lips slightly parted. 

His eyes gradually make their way to the stage where Wooseok stands, he’s dressed in an oversized shirt with a long, black tie around his collar and simple black slacks. 

It’s when Wooseok’s eyes lock with Seungyouns does he feel like the world has hit pause.

*

_ Dongah University Christmas Party, 2016 _

_ “What are you doing up here all by yourself?” Wooseok turns to his side where he’s met with an unfamiliar face. _

_ The man has a nice side profile he supposes or maybe the alcohol was finally getting to him. Either way, it wasn’t like he minded some company. He doesn’t reply though, it wasn’t like he was playing hard to get or anything but he really didn’t feel like talking and neither did he have much to say… After all, there was only so much two strangers could have in common. He turns his head back to watching the people partying downstairs boredly, an arm on the stair railing. _

_ If the man’s bothered by it, he doesn’t say anything. _

_ “I’m kind of disappointed, it wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be,” he continues to make small talk. _

_ Wooseok can relate. He only came because he didn’t have anything better to do. Wooseok supposed he’d hoped he could release some stress but as like all last minute plans, they either went well or would completely fail, and for Wooseok, it was the latter. He supposes he had a few cups, he’s not sure how much, he’d stopped counting a while ago now. But unlike other people, drinking alcohol didn’t exactly help him forget his worries, instead, he found himself reflecting on the year or a waste of a year and hated himself even more. It seemed to be a tradition now, a year passes, hate himself a little more, another year passes and repeat. _

_ “Then why are you here?” Wooseok asks, trying to sound casual. He hoped it wasn’t for the same reason as him. _

_ Wooseok can feel the man’s gaze on him and his face suddenly warms just the tiniest bit. _

_ “To be honest...I don’t know,” he says, chuckling. _

_ Wooseok thinks the man’s laugh is quite nice, almost refreshing. How long had it been since he’d held a conversation with a complete stranger? He can’t remember. _

_ “What about you?” the man asks him back. _

_ Feeling bold, Wooseok finally decides to turn to face the man next to him and as expected, he’s looking at him. Wooseok takes this moment to look at the man properly, black raven hair frames his pale face, he has long monolid eyes, almost cat like. His nose is not small but not exactly big either, it’s softer in contrast his feline eyes, his lips are thin but still attractive… _

_ Not the guy that Wooseok would usually go for but he has to admit, there’s this charm he can’t seem to lay a finger on. _

_ “The same as you.” _

_ Wooseok knows he’s been caught checking him out but what does he have to lose, they’re probably not going to see each other after tonight anyways. _

** _A spark._ **

_ “Fair enough,” the man replies. _

_ His smile is all teeth making his eyes arch into crescents, something Wooseok avoids at all cost, especially when taking photos. But for some reason, he’s strangely endeared by the man before him, whom he only just met now. _

_ “Cho Seungyoun. It’s nice to meet you,” he brings out his hand and Wooseok just stares at it for a moment before taking it in his own. _

_ Since when was he so good at embarrassing himself? _

_ Wooseok can’t help but notice the difference between their hands, the man, Seungyoun, slightly paler than his own, thicker too but not necessarily larger. _

_ “Kim Wooseok.” _

** _The first firework shoots up into the night sky, it’s yellow, like sunshine, like all good things. _ **

_ Seungyoun seemed to try to let go of his hand but Wooseok unconsciously keeps a strong grip, not letting go. _

_ “Uh… Wooseok-ssi,” Seungyoun laughs a bit. _

_ “Ah, sorry… I— ” he tries to embarrassingly explain himself. _

_ “It’s alright, no need to apologise… It’s late and everyone is either really tired or totally wasted…” Seungyoun reassures. _

_ Surely it was the alcohol that was doing things with his mind but... _

_ “I’m not drunk,” Wooseok says stubbornly, more to himself than anyone. _

_ He hears Seungyoun chuckle beside him and maybe it makes Wooseok smile a little inside but he doesn’t show it. Because Wooseok has always been stubborn and that wasn’t changing anytime soon, even if he’s a little drunk. _

_ “Stop… why are you laughing huh?” Wooseok side eyes him, arms folded in front of his chest takes a step closer to Seungyoun. _

_ He knows he looks ridiculous right now… glaring up at Seungyoun, arms crossed and lips pouting and maybe he was playing it up a bit, but it’s harmless so why not? He misses acting like a kid and being pampered for the smallest things and right now Seungyoun is giving him what he wants and Wooseok baths in the attention. _

_ “Nothing… it’s just, are you always this cute when you’re drunk?” Seungyoun says it in the most innocent way possible, his eyes forming those stupid crescents again but somehow Wooseok still finds himself blushing. _

_ “I’m not cute… ” Wooseok argues and his eyes wonder and once again, they’re staring at Seungyoun’s lips. _

_ You just need to lean in, his stupid mind offers. _

_ “If you’re not cute the—” Wooseok shuts him up with a kiss. _

** _Multiple fireworks go off at once, as if something snapped, all the warm colours you could think of, blazing and burning. _ **

_ It’s far from perfect but Seungyoun reacts right away, returning the kiss as best as he can but Wooseok knows he isn’t making it easy for him. It’s hurried and messy and Wooseok pulls back before things get too heated. _

** _The fireworks continue to paint the night sky that looks more like the sunset than anything._ **

_ “Still think I’m cute?” Wooseok challenges, as he wipes away the bit of spit on his lips. _

_ Instead of replying, Seungyoun pulls him into another kiss. But this one slower, as if the man was exploring and worshipping every part of Wooseok even if it was only his lips, it makes his knees wobble the slightest bit. Wooseok entangles his arms around Seungyoun’s back, Seungyoun has a hand cupping his face, almost too gentle for his liking and his other hand on the small of his back. _

_ Wooseok isn't going to lie, Seungyoun knows what he’s doing. He bites Wooseok’s bottom lip asking for entrance and Wooseok opens all too willingly, their tongues intermingling. They were only kissing but Wooseok feels so, so turned on, he wishes he was kidding, he knows he’s semi-hard right now and he doesn’t even bother hiding it. Wooseok begins rubbing his growing erection against Seungyoun’s thigh and lets out a moan when Seungyoun begins sucking at his bottom lip again. He begins trailing kisses down Wooseok’s jaw and he arches his neck so Seungyoun can have better access, all the while letting his hands trail under the man’s exposed shirt and along his expanse of muscle. _

_ “—wait… shit, room…” Wooseok still manages to voice. _

**

Wooseok was avoiding him, that, Seungyoun knows for a fact. 

They were both given B grade and at first, Seungyoun had been beyond ecstatic at the thought of seeing Wooseok more often. But things hadn’t gone as Seungyoun had hoped and they didn’t even get to talk, which to be fair, was pretty hard considering Wooseok seemed to pretend Seungyoun didn’t exist. Seungyoun would have understood if Wooseok was an introverted person in general but it seemed like he was the only one being purposely ignored, no avoided, to be exact. 

Because Wooseok was fine talking to anyone _ but _ him _ . _

Actually, right now he was currently laughing at a joke his friend, Jinhyuk, was saying and Seungyoun heart swells. No matter how confused he felt, Wooseok happiness was infectious. But it’s when Wooseok drapes his arms over Jinhyuk shoulder and places his chin there too does Seungyoun feel a sudden ache in his chest. He knows it’s normal, it wasn’t like he was jealous or anything, not at all, ok maybe a little.

Seungyoun doesn’t know what overcomes him but he storms up to Wooseok, it’s childish, he knows but his legs don’t stop.

“Hey, uh… can we talk?” 

“Hey, Seungyoun!” Jinhyuk greets but Seungyoun only watches Wooseok. He knows he’s being immature right now but he can’t help it, he’ll apologise to Jinhyuk later.

Surprisingly, Wooseok accepts, “sure.” 

He knows there are people watching them as they leave but Seungyoun pays them no mind. He leads them out into the courtyard where there’s not many people around and finally he sighs.

“First of all, sorry. I never actually intended on pulling you out, like that…” Seungyon says genuinely.

“No. Actually, it’s my fault. I should apologise... I know I’ve been avoiding you,” Wooseok says and Seungyoun eyes are hopeful, a smile threatening to bloom on his lips. 

It’s the most Wooseok has said to him and really, Seungyoun shouldn’t be this happy but oh, he is, he feels like he’s on cloud nine.

“No need to apologise… It’s— I mean it’s been three years so—” Seungyoun stutters, the words nostalgic as they fall off his lips.

“Ah about that…” Wooseok begins, a hand at the back of his neck.

“Yes?” Seungyoun answers eagerly.

“Can we pretend that we don’t know each other?” 

Oh.

**The night sky is unmoving, still with complete darkness and silence.**

***

_ That’s how Wooseok finds himself being sucked off by Cho Seungyoun. _

_ “F—uck, fuck…” Wooseok says between deep breaths as he throws his head back. _

_ “Seungyoun, ah— you look so hot right now…” _

_ Seungyoun doesn’t reply, he only takes Wooseok in deeper, hollowing his cheeks as he sucks harder. Wooseok feels like he’s in ecstasy, the sight of Seungyoun on his knees before him, hair matted to his forehead as Wooseok strokes the damp strands, pulling every so often when Seungyoun bites him a little too hard. _

_ “Ah Seu— I’m— gonna come— ” Wooseok says breathless. _

_ Seungyoun pulls off and Wooseok is suddenly hit with cool air, he misses the warmth immediately. _

_ “Come.” Seungyoun says determinedly and Wooseok feels like he might just explode then and there. _

_ “Fuck. You can't just say that… ” _

_ “Come in my mouth Kim Wooseok. Wanna taste you,” Seungyoun challenges with a stupid grin on his face and Wooseok finally loses it; grabbing a hold of his cock, he pushes it into Seungyoun’s mouth more roughly than he had intended. _

_ But Seungyoun doesn’t say anything and he swears he even sees the slightest smirk on Seungyoun’s lips. It doesn’t take long before Wooseok’s close and he begins thrusting lightly in the man’s mouth and Seungyoun takes him, takes all of him, albeit choking slightly at first but he doesn’t stop sucking like his life depended on it. _

_ “I’m gonna— come— ah— ” and Wooseok comes, he comes so hard he swears he sees stars. _

_ “Fuck Seungyoun— shit, you—” Seungyoun swallows every last drop and if Wooseok had lost it before, he’s completely gone now. _

_ Cho Seungyoun was surely going to be the death of him. _

** _The fireworks never stop exploding, one missile after the other, the night sky painted in brilliant colours._ **

****

Kim Wooseok was surely going to be the death of Seungyoun. 

Said man was dancing languidly in front of the mirrors, and Seungyoun, not so shamelessly watching him. 

“Hey, I think I’m gonna go now, it’s almost 3am. You coming?” Hangyul asked next to him, he was already getting up.

“I think I’m gonna stay for a bit longer... there’s this move I can’t quite get right…” Seungyoun lies, he thinks he’s pretty confident for tomorrow’s performance.

“Oh okay… don’t stay up too late yeah?” Hangyul says and Seungyoun feels bad for lying to him.

“Yeah. Good work today,” he flashes his friend a reassuring smile before he leaves. 

Seungyoun gets up from his sitting position, his body aching all over, he wonders how Wooseok’s body is coping right now...He sneaks a glance in the brown-haired man’s direction which was a bad idea because Wooseok was currently doing the hip thrust part and Seungyoun gulps. His wandering eyes somehow find Wooseok’s face and to his shock, Wooseok stares right back at him. 

**The first firework in a long time shoots up into the sky, just barely making it, it’s a blush pink.**

Seungyoun should look away as to not embarrass himself anymore but he his eyes remain unmoving and he watches as Wooseok looks down to the lower half of his body as he thrusts, once. 

_ Twice. _

And oh god.

He locks eyes with Seungyoun. He swears he even catches Wooseok smirking for a second before continuing the next move as if he didn’t just taunt Seungyoun suggestively.

Seungyoun is horrified when he feels his cock twitch just the slightest in his pants and quickly dashes out of the practice room, forgetting his bottle in the process but that was the least of his concerns right now. 

_ What the fuck was that? _

That night, or morning, with a hand around his cock, under the safety of his blanket and the darkness of the room which he’s very grateful for; Seungyoun comes. It may or may not have to do with a brown-haired boy, in a shirt two sizes too big, thrusting his hips as he stares intensely at Seungyoun. 

*****

_ After the incident at the party, Wooseok and Seungyoun exchanged phone numbers. It was simply too good to just be a one night stand, afterall, they both came within a matter of minutes. They both admitted it had been one of the fastest, if not the fastest they had got off in a long time. _

_ They had made an easy arrangement where they would message each other if the other wanted to let off some steam, so essentially… _

_ They were friends with benefits. _

_ Then again, he’s not exactly sure if he and Seungyoun were friends? It wasn’t like they saw each other outside of ‘benefiting’ hours. It’s not like Wooseok hasn’t thought about it, but at the same time, he’s content the way they are. _

_ No strings attached. _

_ He looks to his side where Seungyoun lays, sleeping peacefully. They fucked earlier, Wooseok riding Seungyoun’s cock and he had came untouched. _

_ Fuck and Wooseok never comes untouched. _

_ He wasn’t sure if he was imagining it but he swore at one point, he heard Seungyoun say ‘I love you,’ but Wooseok’s sure it didn’t mean anything, he probably just said it in the heat of the moment. _

_ Right? _

_ It’s during these late hours that Wooseok lets his mind wonder places he usually tries to ignore because that was always easier. _

_ He suddenly feels the urge to lace his fingers through Seungyoun’s jet black hair and he does. The room is dark but Seungyoun, the baby he is, sleeps with a nightlight, the warm yellow softening his features. Even his long feline eyes look soft at this very moment, Wooseok let’s his index finger gently slide down the slope of Seunyoun’s nose, over his philtrum and barely letting the tips of his fingertips graze Seunyoun’s thin lips. _

_ “I mean, I know I’m handsome but—” Seungyoun speaks and Wooseok almost falls off the bed from surprise. _

_ “Cho. Fucking. Seungyoun!” Wooseok throws a pillow at Seungyoun, he misses and he attempts to steal the mans. _

_ “Na-ah,” but Seunyoun’s faster and he’s already on his feet, the pillow way above his head. _

_ “Give me it now, Cho Seungyoun.” Wooseok warns. _

_ “What was that? Couldn’t hear you from down there!” Seungyoun teases. _

_ “You know you’re an ass right?” _

_ “Yes. I have a nice ass, I know!” _

_ Oh he’s really going to have it now. _

******

It’s their last night together. Tomorrow was going to be the final episode of the show. 

“What are you doing out here all by yourself?” Wooseok asks as approaches where Seungyoun is sitting in the courtyard. 

“Very funny,” Seungyoun replies, as he lifts the can of beer in his hand for a drink. 

Seungyoun wonders what Wooseok is doing here instead of sleeping. 

“And where did you get that beer from?” he asks nonchalantly. Seungyoun hears him chuckle and somehow it still manages to make the man melt inside.

“I bought it.” 

“Just one?” 

“Yeah… you want some?” Seungyoun offers, not expecting Wooseok to actually take the can from his hands. He watches as the man swiftly lift it to his lips, Seungyoun watches the way adam apple moves, he watches Wooseok like he is the most beautiful thing in the world.

“Taste like shit.” he makes a face and Seungyoun wants to coo. 

Instead he opts for chuckling, he really wanted to act indifferent but how could he? Not around Wooseok, never around Wooseok. 

“Well, you were always a soju person…” 

“And you didn’t drink,” Wooseok reminds him.

“I did, just not when you were around. Someone had to make sure you didn’t cause trouble.” 

Seungyoun remembers the time he’d received a call from a bar saying that Wooseok refused to go home, even though it was their closing time. He remembers having to carry Wooseok out on his back and the smaller refusing to let go when Seungyoun had told him to. He remembers Wooseok saying how he’d done everything for his ex-girlfriend but it took her one second to dump him because apparently he was too ‘cold’ and even how after seeing her today, he realises how he still loves her and how pathetic he feels because of it.

Seungyoun remembers that night because he had held Wooseok in arms until the small man fell asleep as Seungyoun whispered soft words of reassurance.

“You still remember huh?” Wooseok is watching him.

But Wooseok didn’t need to know that Seungyoun had promised that he’d never leave him. 

“How could I forget?” Seungyoun smiles, he looks at the night sky and notices how clear it is, just like that day. It's such a shame there's no fireworks.

They sit in quiet silence, it’s comfortable, at least Seungyoun thinks so.

Wooseok finally breaks the silence, “I want to debut with you Seungyounie.” 

Seungyoun heart races hearing the pet name and the fact that Wooseok wanted to debut with _ him. _

“I don’t think I’ll debut but,” Seungyoun responds and he means it.

“Don’t say that.” Wooseok chastises and Seungyoun imagines him pouting.

“It’s the truth. I'm grateful I made it this far but I really don’t think I’ll be able to debut…” 

Wooseok seems to be contemplating because he replies after a moment. Then he jumps up from his sitting position, surprising Seungyoun.

“Ok you have to copy me. I, Cho Seungyoun, will debut. You have to say it, come on,” Wooseok tries to pull him up. 

“Ugh, you’re so annoying,” Seungyoun whines but he gets up anyway. 

“I, Cho Seungyoun, will...debut” he sighs. “What will you do if I don’t?” Seungyoun asks, curious now.

“You will make it because you’re talented, funny, likable and the final group needs an all-rounder like you.” 

“And you?” Seungyoun asks feeling brave, he looks Wooseok in the eye.

**Flickers of fireworks make an appearance, but they’re gone within seconds, though their traces remain and that’s all that matters for now.**

*******

Wooseok knows it shouldn't hurt this much but it does all the same.

He feels his eyes stinging from a foreign wetness.

"Hey, are you gonna cry?" Seungyoun teases, his finger brushes away a stray tear Wooseok hadn't realised escaped.

This wasn’t Wooseok’s plan, he didn’t plan on getting emotional, let alone cry.

"Sorry. Ah- I don't know why I'm like this."

"Well we were friends y'know, so it makes sense you would get emotional, parting ways with a friend, right?" Wooseok hates how right Seungyoun is.

"... For your information, I actually really liked spending time with you, apart from all the sexy stuff but that was amazing, obviously, " Seungyoun wiggles his eyebrows for emphasis which earned a well-deserved smack from Wooseok (and not in a sexual way).

"Me too."

"Are you gonna give your friend a goodbye hug or what?" Seungyoun smiles just as bright as the first time Wooseok met him, where his eyes curved into those stupid crescents.

They hug and it's the most painful hug Wooseok experienced, his face on Seungyoun's warm chest where he smells the mans familiar cologne he knows he's going to miss. 

Seungyoun is the first to pull out of the embrace to Wooseok disappointment.

"Well I guess this is goodbye– ” 

Fireworks light up the sky along the Han River, creating murky reflections of different colours. 

“Wow, did you plan this Wooseokie? Never knew you to be a romantic, is this my parting gift?” Seungyoun jokes. 

Wooseok is in awe as he watches one firework after the other bloom into flowers so beautifully in the darkness. It makes him wonder, if he and Seungyoun met under different circumstances, if they had not had dreams of becoming idols, if they just had normal office jobs. So many what ifs. The flower petals of the fireworks like the many possibilities, however, all of which are transient and non-tangible.

He doesn’t tell Seungyoun that the last few months that they shared were happiest Wooseok had been in a long time because Seungyoun doesn’t need to be hurt more than he already is. Because Seungyoun deserves better and they should part ways with smiles, not longing for something that no longer _is._

“Yeah, they’re beautiful aren’t they?” 

Wooseok looks at Seungyoun.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it, please let me know your thoughts in the comments or on  
[twitter.](https://twitter.com/nabiedits) I'm thinking of a sequel(post pdx) but want to know if anyone's interested. ^__^


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